You've got to be kidding -- again.
Hours after being sworn in, the new Democratic governor of New York -- did I mention he's a Democrat? -- admitted that he and his wife have had extramarital affairs.
In a stunning revelation, both Paterson, 53, and his wife, Michelle, 46, acknowledged in a joint interview they each had intimate relationships with others during a rocky period in their marriage several years ago.
In the course of several interviews in the past few days, Paterson said he maintained a relationship for two or three years with "a woman other than my wife," beginning in 1999.
As part of that relationship, Paterson said, he and the other woman sometimes stayed at an upper West Side hotel — the Days Inn at Broadway and W. 94th St.
I'll give Paterson partial credit for coming clean before the story was broken by others (although his disclosure was in response to a pack of reporters baying at his heels to chase down rumors of the affairs).
In addition, as far as we know so far, Paterson did not break the law.
And this happened during a "rocky period" in the marriage. (But which came first, I wonder -- the rocky period or the affairs? And which was the cause, and which the effect?)
However . . .
Moral Lecture Alert: If reminders of basic rules of morality aren't your thing, you might want to stop reading now.
Is it really that hard to stick to the rule against adultery?
I mean, you make one commitment in your life that's (a) extremely solemn, (b) in front of all your closest friends and family, and (c) to a person whom you love more than anyone on earth.
If you can't keep that one solemn promise you make in front of everyone important to you, why should you be trusted to keep any of your promises? What message do you send to your co-workers, to your spouse, to your spouse's family, to your community, and to your children, when you break your most solemn vow to the person closest to you?
It seems obvious, and it is, but I don't think it's thought about enough or talked about enough.
It's taken for granted that everyone understands what the consequences of adultery are, but given the constant bombardment of our instant gratification culture that equates extra-marital affairs with coolness, it's easy for people to forget, just long enough to ruin several lives.
Paterson and his wife are still together, but many others who went through similar experiences are not. Children do not usually enjoy watching their parents divorce and separate, or having to transfer back and forth between their divorced parents' homes. Children enjoy even less watching new step-parents enter their homes and lives, some of whom do not have the children's best interests at heart.
I'm generalizing, yes, but it needs to be reiterated that adultery destroys lives. Sometimes it even leads to murder.
So Gov. Paterson cheated on his wife, and vice-versa. Okey-dokey. Hand him the keys to the governor's mansion and let him have at it.
I'm sure we can trust the man. Right?
Update 1: And, right on schedule -- always first in line to rationalize wrongdoing when it's from a Democrat -- here's the New York Times with "The Myth of Monogamy." It carefully explains that most animals are not monogamous.
Yes. Exactly. That's why we call them animals. Most animals also don't publish newspapers, make and keep promises, understand their own mortality, search for a Higher Power, enact laws, know the difference between right and wrong, or exchange wedding vows.
Update 2: Some today are making the obvious point that what goes on in a marriage is nobody's business but the spouses. True enough, in the sense that we don't usually pry into people's privates lives, and if the Patersons kept their problems to themselves nobody else would know or care. But let's review: Marriage vows are usually made in a public ceremony that includes a vow of fidelity. There are consequences to breaking public vows. One is that people don't know which of one's promises to believe. Marriage also creates a relationship with public legal consequences for both parties. And lack of monogamy usually carries some signfificant negative consequences with it, including emotional strain, lack of commitment, jealousy, potential risk of disease, unwanted pregnancy, lack of sufficient attention to children, financial troubles and more.
So when we say that marital troubles are nobody's business except the people involved, we are right in one sense but wrong in another. A marriage that lacks faithful commitment is not on par with one that does. There are huge practical differences between conventional marriage, open marriage, and marriage that is open on only one side -- without the knowledge or consent of the other spouse. That's called cheating, and it has destroyed countless lives.
"McCain was still married and living with his wife in 1979 while, according to The New York Times’ Nicholas Kristof, “aggressively courting a 25-year-old woman who was as beautiful as she was rich.” McCain divorced his wife, who had raised their three children while he was imprisoned in Vietnam, then launched his political career with his new wife’s family money. In 2000, McCain managed to deflect media questioning about his first marriage with a deft admission of responsibility for its failure."
Posted by: Ted Haggard | March 18, 2008 at 11:56 AM
Love to hear your opinion on the above comment Ms Cobb. And I'd love to hear your opinion about Newt Gingrich who cheated on two wives (oine during the course of the Clinton impeachment) and served his first wife with divorce opapers as she lay in a hospital bed suffering with cancer. And,of course, there is Ted Haggard who patronized a gay prostitute while having weekly telephone conversations with President Bush and leading the fight against gay marriage. And there is Larry Craig-and on and ion and on.
Maybe we should just mind our own business like good conservatives and keep the government out of of issues in people's private lives that violate no laws.
Posted by: Ted Haggard | March 18, 2008 at 12:02 PM