Uh . . . That's Why They're Called "TOP" Hospitals

Yahoo! News and LiveScience.com are breaking this "news":

"Odds of Survival Much Higher at Top U.S. Hospitals"

Uh, yeah.  That's why they are top hospitals. 

If the odds of survival were much lower at "top" hospitals, now that would be news.

Here's some more breaking news for ya:

Odds of Attractive Hairstyles Much Higher With Top Stylists

Odds of Fascinating Novels Much Higher With Top Novelists

Odds of Winning Marathons Much Higher With Top Runners

Odds of Pretty Lawns Much Higher With Top Fertilizers

Odds of Winning Lawsuits Much Higher With Top Lawyers

Odds of Delicious Dining Experiences Much Higher With Top Chefs

So back to hospitals:  If you have a condition that's tough to treat and a lot is riding on it, you know what to do, right? 

Let's make it multiple choice:

(a) Complain that your hospital isn't as good as other peoples'.

(b) Lobby the government to require all hospitals to have the same survival rates.

(c) Demand that all hospitals voluntarily comply with a program to allow no more than a 5% disparity in survival rates.

(d) Go to a top hospital.

(e) If you can't go to a top hospital, go to the best hospital you can.

(f)  If you can't go to any good hospital, go to the best doctor you can.

(g) Institute socialized medicine, so that everything is equally bad.

I think I'll let you grade your own answers on this one.