In news of the weird, a Canadian press release announces that "A former Canadian Minister of Defence has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on relations with Alien “ET” Civilizations."
O---K.
Yahoo! News took the story and ran with it. Therefore, perhaps this is not a hoax. Let's read further.
"Paul Hellyer, Canada’s Defence Minister from 1963-67 under Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Prime Minister Lester Pearson, publicly stated: "UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head."
Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something." “Now is the time for open disclosure that there are ethical Extraterrestrial civilizations visiting Earth,” a spokesperson for the Non-Governmental Organizations stated.
Hellyer also says that, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."
I have heard the term "moonbats" before, but I didn't think it was meant to be taken literally.
The press release adds that, "On February 24, 2005, Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin made official Canada's decision not to take part in the U.S government’s Ballistic Missile Defence program."
“Our Canadian government needs to openly address these important issues of the possible deployment of weapons in outer space and war plans against ethical Extraterrestrial societies.”
(Deep breath.)
Where do we begin?
One: My dear Canadian friend, please explain in ten simple sentences your proof that "ethical aliens" are visiting earth.
(Better yet, please don't!)
Two: If "ethical" aliens are visiting earth, how can you be sure that there are no "unethical" aliens close behind? (You know -- the kind who would zap us all into extinction, given half a chance?)
Three: Why do you want to keep the United States from defending itself against attacks from either unethical aliens or from (more likely) unethical humans such as dictators and terrorists? What is to keep madmen from launching attacks against other countries from space or through space, using (for example) missiles, rockets or satellites?
Last time I checked, space is pretty much "adjacent" to every nation on earth, on the other side of a relatively thin layer of atmosphere. Therefore, failing to defend a nation against attack from space, by other nations or terrorists, is failing to defend a nation, period.
But I am getting into logic here, and I have a feeling that that will not convince anyone on the other side of this pressing issue.
This seems like the time to bring in the Autorantic Virtual Moonbat designed by "graphic designer par excellence" Sean Gleeson. I discovered a version of this automated moonbat at The Conservative Cat blog and had no idea I'd find a use for it so soon. It simulates a crazed liberal conspiracy nut. (If you are looking for a crazed conservative conspiracy nut, talk to the designer, not me.) Meanwhile, enjoy. Just click "rant."
If you are ambitious and want to have an online discussion with a real live moonbat, here's the website where you can comment on the request for the Canadian parliament to conduct hearings on the "ET" issue. You can even sign the petition to the Canadian parliament! Some of the comments already posted there are priceless. However, if you're like me, about three minutes of reading the comments is about all you can stand. Here's the comment I most enjoyed from "Colin," who apparently is on my side of the issue: "Yes I am the hybrid offspring of Klingons and Rigelian Slugworms. I have a deathray and I'm going to take over Saskatchewan. Bwa-ha-ha. . . . ." (This did not go over well with the moonbats.)
Read more (if you can stand it) at Powerline, Instapundit and Random Numbers.
Special note to Canadian readers: Despite the title of this post, I do not think that all Canadians are moonbats. I know that many of you are quite sensible, and nice too.
Special note to moonbat readers: If you actually think you might be a moonbat, you probably are not.
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