Today's Amusement: Analogies As Bad As -- Something Bad

Michelle Malkin and Blogs Now have linked to some of the "worst analogies ever in a high school essay," from the Oxymoron website.

I guess nobody is sure whether these are "for real" or not, but I've changed names to initials to protect the privacy of any high school authors. 

Here are my favorites:

• The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
  R.B., Springfield

• From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  R.A., Washington

• Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake
  K.K., Landover Hills

• Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
  J.H., Arlington

• The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
  W.G., Madison, Ala.

• The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
  Unknown

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P.S. - Feel free to leave a comment.  Bonus points if you use an analogy.

Thank you to Oxymoron, Michelle Malkin, and Blogs Now.  Special note to high school students and beginning writers everywhere:  Don't despair if these analogies sound like something you may have written.  On the way to becoming a good writer, there is usually some bad writing too.  Have fun!

Comments

[triticale]

I've seen this collection before, but I thought they were deliberate efforts - Wash. Post competition or the like. My favorite, which I've actually found usefull, is "She had a vocabulary like, well, you know..."